There are many theories, models and assumptions around that pontificate on what keeps two people together over the long-term. You can find books and posts that cover all aspects of this subject and more. Many of them offer up good advice on keeping it fresh or avoiding the pitfalls of a stale relationship. Advice badly needed by anyone who has decided to take that leap of faith.
I have helped couples in crisis for many years and often they turn up for therapy with their relationship in just the kind of state described above, worn out and waiting for the end. They often cite all kinds of reasons for the decline and describe a typical pattern of relationship decay that has gone unheeded and sometimes unnoticed for a long period. They just do not put the work in any longer. They do not see the need. Everything is taken for…
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